When Leaders Need to Be Liked Are You Leading People or Managing Their Opinion of You?
The need to be loved by everyone can eventually make a leader unable to faithfully lead anyone.
Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the LORD’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them.”
Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
The Revelation
Saul finally says it.
“I was afraid of the men….”
Then:
“….I gave in to them.”
That’s leadership failure before the leadership failure.
Saul had authority over the people.
But internally:
👉 THE PEOPLE HAD AUTHORITY OVER SAUL.
He was king externally.
But approval was governing him internally.
That’s dangerous.
Because when a leader needs the room to like him, the room can begin leading the leader.
The Lie
“IF THEY’RE HAPPY WITH ME, I MUST BE LEADING WELL.”
Not necessarily.
Sometimes faithful leadership produces gratitude.
Sometimes it produces disappointment.
Because leaders occasionally have to:
say no.
set boundaries.
correct.
confront.
change direction.
remove responsibility.
make unpopular decisions.
tell difficult truth.
If approval becomes your compass:
👉 YOU WILL EVENTUALLY CONFUSE DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE WITH FAILING PEOPLE.
Those aren’t the same thing.
Aaron Shows Us Another Version
Exodus 32.
Moses is gone.
The people become restless.
They want gods they can see.
Aaron knows better.
But pressure rises.
And instead of forming the people toward faithfulness:
👉 THE PEOPLE’S DESIRE BEGINS FORMING THE LEADER.
The golden calf is not merely a story about rebellious followers.
It is also a warning about leadership that gives anxious people what they demand instead of helping them remain faithful while they wait.
Sometimes leadership means refusing to baptize the crowd’s impatience.
The Truth
👉 LOVE PEOPLE WITHOUT NEEDING THEIR APPROVAL TO OBEY GOD.
That’s different from becoming cold.
Indifferent.
Arrogant.
“I don’t care what anybody thinks” can become pride too.
Wise leaders listen.
Receive counsel.
Consider impact.
Care deeply about people.
But ultimately:
👉 APPROVAL CANNOT BECOME LORD.
Paul says:
“If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
There is an allegiance issue underneath leadership.
The Audit
- WHO AM I MOST AFRAID TO DISAPPOINT?
- WHOSE REACTION CHANGES MY DECISIONS?
- HAVE I AVOIDED A NECESSARY CONVERSATION BECAUSE I WANTED TO REMAIN LIKED?
- HAVE I SAID YES WHEN FAITHFULNESS REQUIRED NO?
- AM I LEADING PEOPLE OR MANAGING THEIR OPINION OF ME?
Then:
👉 IF NOBODY APPLAUDED THIS DECISION, WOULD I STILL BELIEVE IT WAS FAITHFUL?
The Surrender
Before making the next difficult leadership decision, pray:
“Father, remove my need to control how everyone feels about me.”
Then ask:
👉 WHAT DOES FAITHFULNESS REQUIRE?
Listen.
Seek counsel.
Love people.
Then obey.
Take It With You
When a leader needs the room to like him, the room can begin leading the leader.
The Prayer
Father,
Free me from needing approval to feel secure.
Keep me tender toward people without becoming controlled by their reactions.
Give me courage to disappoint when faithfulness requires it.
Wisdom to listen when correction is needed.
And humility to know the difference.
Jesus is Lord of my leadership.
Let my decisions increasingly agree.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
Hidden Gems 💎
👉 Saul had authority over the people, but the people had authority over Saul.
💎 You can hold the title and still be led by the room.
💎 Don’t confuse disappointing people with failing people.
💎 Love people without needing their approval to obey God.
💎 Am I leading people, or managing their opinion of me?
-TheWrkShop
Part of the series The Battle Before the Battle